Quote from dadge :

i thought it was just the vacuum caused with all the power housing the old hatchet wound is taking? similar to how a toilet plunger fits all bowls.

I mean over time, if you're hung like a horse you'll stretch it out until it fits like a glove, if you're hung like a horsefly it'll contract to fit like a smaller glove. Or at least that is what I recall hearing while very drunk at uni and watching day time TV.

i once went out with a girl who had a snatch that was so big, i could have thrown a red chubb fire extinguisher into her and it wouldn't have taken a wrinkle out of her. apparently, she enjoyed being worn like a glove. it sounded like pulling a wellington boot out of a muddy puddle....classy gal.

i miss my sister. only added for comedy effect lol

She's been around the block a couple times.

the block was round her more like it. the only time i was ever patriotic was when i was with her. she used to smoke my balls and hum the Irish national anthem. brought a tear to my eye.

Well what happened to her? She sounds nice.

she collapsed in on herself.

I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe the next one can hum the Irish anthem while smokin your balls even better.

i doubt that, this girl had no teeth. but she could suck the shine off a bowling ball.

she'd been cocked more times than Elmer Fudd's gun.

Umm Dadge, how old exactly was the woman?

woman? it was my sisters hoover. nah, it was way back in my teens. she was a bit of a bike. but i liked bikes. and roller blading. but that's a different story.

Okay, so I need help translating this one.

a) Vacuum
b) Partially incest.
c) Your sister's lesbian friend
d) ???
e) Profit.

one of my early girlfriends i was talking about. she was wild. i used to be all over her camel toe like a pro boxer destroying a speed bag. good times except for the excess residue. "she slimmed me!!"

Ahh, saw you edit your post.

I like when the girls ride tbh, much better.

you should try the "Lone Ranger". it'll change your life.

The word "lone" turns me off, sorry.

not at all m8. it's a finishing move. you're both in the doggy position. with one hand you take a clump of hair. your spare hand placed on the toosh with your thumb hovering over her freckle (bunghole, Japanese flag, rusty bullet hole). just as you're about to "arrive", jam the thumb in and yank her hair back. as she rears up, scream "HI HO SILVER, AWAY!!!"

chicks dig that shit.

Oh, didn't know that had a specific name. I can't say I have fully pulled off that move because I never screamed "HI HO SILVER, AWAY!!!". The bad part is, next time I do it I really want to try screaming that, but I don't know if me, or her, can hold a straight face through it.

Quote from dadge :

not at all m8. it's a finishing move. you're both in the doggy position. with one hand you take a clump of hair. your spare hand placed on the toosh with your thumb hovering over her freckle (bunghole, Japanese flag, rusty bullet hole). just as you're about to "arrive", jam the thumb in and yank her hair back. as she rears up, scream "HI HO SILVER, AWAY!!!"

chicks dig that shit.

>this thread

Quote from dadge :

you should try the "Lone Ranger". it'll change your life.

Rodeo is a much better move. It is easier if she is wearing a top, but while doing her from behind grab her top (or hair, shoulder) with one hand, lean forwards and whisper into her ear "you know, your sister likes it like this too" then try and hold on baby. YEHAW!

Quote from dadge :

not at all m8. it's a finishing move. you're both in the doggy position. with one hand you take a clump of hair. your spare hand placed on the toosh with your thumb hovering over her freckle (bunghole, Japanese flag, rusty bullet hole). just as you're about to "arrive", jam the thumb in and yank her hair back. as she rears up, scream "HI HO SILVER, AWAY!!!"

chicks dig that shit.

I must say that you are one of the main reasons for visiting the LFS forum, I've more than given up waiting for an update, but the level of funny you bring always lightens my day... keep it up kind sir.

lol i can only quailify to stick a picture here if i have an affair lol as im married

Quote from P5YcHoM4N :

Rodeo is a much better move. It is easier if she is wearing a top, but while doing her from behind grab her top (or hair, shoulder) with one hand, lean forwards and whisper into her ear "you know, your sister likes it like this too" then try and hold on baby. YEHAW!

that's a classic. to spice it up a bit, swap the word sister for brother. see how that digests lol.
i'm also partial to a good old monkey face every now and then.

Quote from lap traffic nz :

I must say that you are one of the main reasons for visiting the LFS forum, I've more than given up waiting for an update, but the level of funny you bring always lightens my day... keep it up kind sir.

hehehe, i was bored and felt like a wee giggle.

Quote from dadge :

that's a classic. to spice it up a bit, swap the word sister for brother. see how the digests lol.

Lets just stick with the sister one.