That was actually funny... so you fail.

Well, the joke was so good that it failed in this bad joke thread so its a bad joke. I'll just give a crappy one then.

Why did the orange stop?

Because it ran out of juice.

What's black and stands on one leg?
A negro on one leg
What's black and stands on two legs?
Two negros on one leg
What's black and stands on three legs?
A piano

- Hurry Mom, Hurry!!!
Grandma fell downstairs!!
- You helped her?
- Nooope!! She fell for herself

*****************************
- Mom, I really don't like the grandpa
- Ok, just leave it... but eat the potatoes!

*****************************
- Daddy, why is grandma running?
- Shut the f*ck up and bring me more bullets!

*****************************

No offending

Oh, so this is the politically incorrect jokes thread? I´ll give it a go.

An Estonian, a German and a Russian are trapped on a plane. They each have to throw out one thing in order to be saved.
The German throws out a TV. The Estonian and Russian ask why did he throw out the TV. The German says "We´ve got plenty of those".
Next up is the Russian. He throws out a bottle of vodka and says "We´ve got plenty of those.
The Estonian throws out the Russian. "We´ve got plenty of those."

Scatter that one made me laugh too.
Maybe the problem is at my end.

Quote from Kalev EST :

Oh, so this is the politically incorrect jokes thread? I´ll give it a go.

An Estonian, a German and a Russian are trapped on a plane. They each have to throw out one thing in order to be saved.
The German throws out a TV. The Estonian and Russian ask why did he throw out the TV. The German says "We´ve got plenty of those".
Next up is the Russian. He throws out a bottle of vodka and says "We´ve got plenty of those.
The Estonian throws out the Russian. "We´ve got plenty of those."

---

Why wasn't Jesus born in Liverpool?

Because they couldn't find any wise men, let alone three - or a virgin for that matter.

---

Why is it a shame that two chavs drive off a cliff in to the English Channel?

A Nova has five seats.

---

What's the difference between a BNP meeting and a hedgehog?

With the hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside

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What's the difference between a Labour politician and a Conservative politician?

The tory f**ks their secretary, the labour f**ks the country.

How many Irish does it take to change a lightbulb?

10! One to hold the bulb, and nine to drink until the room starts spinning!

woot, erik... you fail.
that one actually was great.

Quote from Biohazard :

woot, erik... you fail.
that one actually was great.

:throwrose

By the way, I just read that the Belgians had 20cm snow today too

It took me a while to get it, but I eventually did, good one

Quote from hrtburnout :

:throwrose

By the way, I just read that the Belgians had 20cm snow today too

OMG lol@!!!


My joke

Ah man in a wheelchair is standing next to the highway looking for a lift for more then a hour now
A man in ferrari sees the man and says
I would be glad to give you a lift but the wheelchair wont fit in

The man says wait i have an idea he gets a rope out of his laugage compartment, he sais il ty this end of the rope to my ferrari and this end to your wheelchair , and here is ah horn so you can honk in case i go to fast

A little later on the highway a guy in porsche sees the ferrari and says i show him a porsche is faster then a ferrari he blows past the ferrari
But then the man in the ferrari sais oh ilshow that guy a ferrari is faster then a porsche

They blow wright past a traffic cop
The cop cals his boss and says<
bos i need a vacation

Boss: Why is that?

Oficcer: saw a man in a porsche and a man in a ferrari race by
and a man in a wheelchair honking caus he wanted to get past

Heard that one a little different. Instead of a wheelchair the old man had a Lada.

Fifteen minutes after the Titanic sank, Michael and Patrick find themselves hugging a piece of wreckage from the great ship. The water is freezing, sharks are swimming nearby, and, of course, the Titanic is long gone.
"Oh well," says Michael, "It could have been worse."

"Worse? How could it have been worse?" screams Pat.

"We could have bought return tickets."

-------------------------------------------------------------

An irishman walks into a pizza shop and orders a large pepperoni pizza. The man behind the counter and asks him "Do you want it cutting into 6 or 12 pieces" to which the irishman replies "Oh, just 6, I couldn't eat 12".

---------------------------------------------------------

Zookeeper says to Paddy, "The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to marry (wink, wink) it. Would you consider marrying (wink, wink) it for €1000?".
Paddy replies, "I will on 4 conditions:
1st I'm not going to kiss it.
2nd my family must never know.
3rd. The kids must be brought up as catholics
and
4th I'll need a couple of weeks to get the cash together!"

What links smart belgium guys to dinosaurs

There both died out

What's brown and sticky?.......................A stick

Whats black, white and red?

A panda wearing red shoes.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

Four nuns are in a Lada. They get hit up the back by a speeding Porsche Cayenne, all die and go straight up to heaven.

When they get up there, St Pete says "You're all nuns, so we'll let you all in. However, you know your vows of chastity and obedience. Here's the holy water, you know the drill".

Sister Anne says "I saw a man's penis!". She then washes her eyes with the holy water, and goes in. Sister Beatrice than says "I touched one!". She dips her hand in the water, St Pete then opens the gate and let her through.

Sistor Elodie then pushes past the fourth nun. St Peter, who is a bit confused says "Sister Elodie, why are you so impatient?". She then says

"I want to gargle it before Sister Carol dips her arse in it!"

Quote from Bean0 :

What's brown and sticky?.......................A stick

Bad joke award goes to...

What's long, hard, and hull of seamen?

A submarine!

A couple of lions were walking along Brighton seafront. One says to the other, "I don't know, its not all its cracked up to be. I mean, there's not many people around..."

How do you fit 4 elephants in a Mini?

2 in the front, 2 in the back

How do you get two whales in a mini?

By crossing the Severn Bridge.

Two demo racers are on a server.

A: Hey dood
B: Yo man!
A: Wanna drift-race me?
B: Ok

B beats A and A is angry.

A: Pfftt mum came in my chamber not my fault!
B: I don't believe you...
A: Why?
B: Cuz I'm yo momy!!
A: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
B: Joke ;p
A: Not fun I'm returning to S2 so much noobs on Demo...
B: .... Penis!
A: hahahahh!! LMAO!!! OMG!!! I'll stay for a bit longer.